I Truly See
by James-fab4
Summary: Sequel to Because You Loved Me. Having been together for over a year, Dougie and McFly have to leave Becca behind for a four month tour of Europe. But will the time apart cause the heart to grow fonder?
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note;**

This is a sequel to the fiction Because You Loved me. Although it can be read separately from it, I think it's better to read the prequel first because it means you know the characters far better, and can get into the story more. The prequel is only 13 chapters, so it doesn't take long to read. I hope you enjoy this. )

**Chapter 1**

It never failed to amaze Becca how quickly the time passed. Hours felt like seconds, weeks like hours, and months like days. She could scarcely believe that she and Dougie had been together a year. It had been a year filled with laughter, and love; a year that had floated by effortlessly without as much as a passing glance at unhappiness. Becca never quite understood how she and Dougie continued to get closer. It seemed impossible that it could happen, and yet every time it did she would look back on how they were before, and see it as a natural progression.

Becca had moved from university accommodation to her own house with Jess in Colchester, which Dougie had helped to pay for, and they spent all of the free time that they had in each other's company. When she had holidays, Becca would travel around the country with the boys, becoming a perpetual support act for McFly on their tours. The shackles of fear that had previously held her down were well and truly gone, and the sometimes timid girl of old had been replaced with a confident and determined young lady.

Despite this, the record company had failed to offer Becca any sign of recording contract, based on the fact that they claimed that they "_didn't know how to market her_". Even so, Becca was having the time of her life performing on stage, so her disappointment failed to make an obvious impression.

Becca crossed out what she had scribbled down on the sheet of paper that lay on her lap, took a sip from her mug, and placed it back down on the coffee table. She looked out of the window of the living room and into the garden, which was a tangle of greenery. On the other side of the room Jess tapped repetitively on the arm of her chair, whilst flipping through a copy of Heat.

"This magazine got rubbish you know Becks." She mused.

"Yeh? I thought you might be getting bored of it...what with all the tapping." She said pointedly.

Jess looked down at her hand, which was still moving, seemingly of its own accord to an inaudible beat. "Oh!" Jess said stopping quickly, "Sorry about that." She flashed Becca a smile, which her friend rapidly returned.

"How's the writing going?"

"Oh not so good," said Becca casting her eye down at the mass of crossed out lyrics, "I can't really think of anything to write about at the moment. And I'm not sure what style to write either. Like...what genre."

"Hmmm..." Jess mumbled as she drunk her coffee. "I think you just have to go with what you feel at the time, and then it's luck from there."

"Yeh I guess so."

A loud wrapping disturbed their conversation.

"I'll get it," Jess said jumping from her seat at the sound of the door.

A few moments later she walked back into the room followed by Dougie, who sat on the arm of the sofa next to Becca and placed a kiss on top of her head.

"Hello you." He said smiling.

"Heyyy," she said giving him a squeeze, "You alright?"

"Yeh I'm okay" he said sliding down the arm of the chair and fitting snugly next to Becca. "What'cha up to?"

"Oh...I was just trying to write...but I haven't really got into it yet." She closed the notebook in her hand and threw it onto the table. "So what brings you here, Mr. Poynter? ...other than wanting to see your wonderful, wonderful girlfriend?" She asked with a smile.

"Well I have some news!"

Becca wasn't quite sure that she liked the expression on Dougie's face. It was as though the news that he had wasn't going to be altogether good.

"...go on?" she said hesitating

"Well Fletch has organised a European tour...for four months."

Becca raised her eyebrows slightly in shock. It took her a few moments to regain herself and respond. "...oh that's brilliant Dougie!" she said managing to draw on all of her acting skills to sound enthusiastic. "European domination!"

"Oh thank God!" he said sounding very relieved, "I didn't know how you were going to react, to be honest!"

"...well sure...four months is a long time, but just think how quick the past year has gone! I'm sure..." she gulped, "...I'm sure that it'll fly by! And it'll probably help my writing as well...cos I won't have you floating around my brain the whole time. I can write about missing you" She laughed somewhat falsely.

"Good to know I'm broadening your ideas for writing." He said grinning.

"So...when do you leave?" she said holding his hand. She didn't want him to go. After so long in each other's company she found it difficult to imagine how they would manage without each other, especially over such a long distance.

"Soon...a few weeks." He looked into the piercing eyes that he now knew so well. Her reaction had been disappointingly upbeat to the idea of being apart for so long, but Dougie didn't want to bring the mood down, and so played along. "It's gonna be awesome!"

"I'm sure it will be" Becca said with a smile.

For the first time in their relationship, they had hidden their true feelings in order to protect themselves. Their hands clasped together desperately, telling a thousand words that their lips refused to impart.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Two weeks travelled fast. There seemed to be a tension between Dougie and Becca that had not existed at any time during their relationship. It was like the life had been drained from it, the threat of the imminent time apart seeming to bring down the feeling of joy, and elation that they had experienced for the past year. It was the first real test, and although Becca believed that they would come through it strongly, she couldn't suppress the niggling feeling of doubt which ate away at her insides.

Four months, no matter what way she looked at it, was a very long time; a time in which she knew she had to let go of Dougie. She didn't want to smother him, and become "the annoying girlfriend who keeps ringing to check up". Dougie was equally afraid. His girlfriend was stunningly beautiful, and wherever they went it seemed to Dougie that a thousand male eyes followed her every move. It had not gone unnoticed to McFly that there had been a great increase in the number of guys coming to their concerts since Becca had joined them. Of course he knew that Becca wouldn't give any of them the time of day, because he was pleased to find that her affection for him had not waned since the previous year.

As they walked through the airport in their little group, however, Dougie couldn't help but notice the seemingly cold attitude of his girlfriend. It was almost nonchalant. He had at least expected some kind of emotion, but as of yet she showed no signs of it.

Becca bit the inside of her cheek as she walked quickly by Dougie's side. She bit so hard, she swore she would bleed, trying to shut down the feelings which were threatening to boil over. "_Don't make a scene. Don't make a scene_" she repeated to herself over and over, "_You'll just make it more difficult._" Becca didn't think she would be able to cope if she let go of the feelings that were bottled inside of her. Somewhere in her mind she thought it would make it easier, both for her own piece of mind, and for Dougie's enjoyment of the tour, to try and put a distance between them; something which manifested itself in the silence that had fallen between them.

The airport was very quiet, which was not surprising given the ridiculously early time that they had had to book their flight in order to avoid hordes of fans. The only noise, aside from the muttering of Tom, Danny and Harry to their girlfriends, and the occasional sound of a plane taking off, was the sound of the wheels of the suitcases rolling along the cold marble floor.

Before they knew it they were sitting on the uncomfortable chairs of the departure lounge. They had each split off into their couples, with Harry, Tom, and Danny all immersed in deep and tearful conversations. Becca and Dougie, however, sat silently, their hands clasped together acting as the only connection between them.

"_FLIGHT 227 TO BERLIN WILL BE DEPARTING SHORTLY,_" a voice called over the airport.

Dougie looked at his girlfriend, whose gaze was cast out of the windows at the misty morning that lay before them. He squeezed her hand gently. "...Becca." he said quietly, "I think it's time."

It was the moment that they had both been dreading, but while Dougie wanted to express how much he was going to miss the closest person in his life, Becca couldn't stand to put her feelings on the line and make the departure harder for them.

"Okay." She said plainly.

The rest of the boys had got up and were caught in embraces. Dougie and Becca stood. He attempted to catch her gaze, desperate to see some sign that she was finding this as difficult as him, but she avoided his eyes, knowing that they would set off what she was holding back. He pulled her into a tight hug, holding her close to his body, and she entwined her arm loosely around his hips, resting her chin on his shoulder.

"I'm gonna miss you so much Becca," he said into her neck, his warm breath making the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.

"You're gonna have an amazing time Dougie. You'll be back before you even realised you left." A solitary tear rolled down her left cheek, making a bid for freedom, but its escape was rapidly halted by the hand that Becca hastily raised to her face in order to prevent her boyfriend seeing her weakness. "Go on. You'll miss the flight. ...have a brilliant time, and just enjoy it Dougie. Promise me that."

"I'll try." He said forcing a quick smile.

"I'll see you in four months." She said pressing a quick kiss onto his lips.

"...okay," He reluctantly turned around grabbing onto his suitcase, and wheeling it to the edge of the doorway. He looked back over his shoulder, expecting to see Becca waving. Instead he saw his girlfriend walking quickly away. He blinked back the tears that had sprung to his eyes. Doubt filled his mind as he turned and trudged slowly down the tunnel. Her coldness confused him. Why was she pushing him away? Why did she seem so eager for him to go?

Little did he know that the reason for Becca's rapid departure was because finally her feelings had overcome her. The sight of her best fiend and lover walking away was too much; it was too real, so she had turned on her heel, and left, too scared to let her feelings get in the way of what was an amazing opportunity for Dougie.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

It had been two days since Dougie had left for Germany, and already Becca was feeling like part of her soul had been torn away. It was as though her very core was missing an essential part. She sat down heavily at her desk, and flipped open her laptop to check her mail.

"Ooooh! New e-mail!" she said to herself.

It was from Dougie. She clicked on it and read.

_From_: **Poynter, Dougie **(dlp_.uk)

_Sent_: 24th March 2007

_To_: **Harper, Becca **(music_.uk)

_Subject_: Hello there you sexy minx =]

First of all. I miss you. =[

The hotel were staying in is nice, but my bed is lonely without you in it. Hows things going back in England? Did you manage to right any lyrics about missing the hell out of me yet? =p

I'll right some about you. But it'll be XxX and you wont be able to relese it cos people will get ofended. =]

I really want you. Baaaaaaadly. Harry may well be great in bed, but he just doesn't satisfy me like you do. Haha.

Were doing a gig in Berlin tomorrow. I was expecting it to be full of people called Helga, but suprisingly there are hardly any people who look like I expected Germans to look. I must watch too much old tv.

Anyway I just wanted to let you no im thinking about you.

Message back please.

I Love You. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx *hug* *thrust* =p haha

Becca sighed deeply. As much as she missed Dougie, and as much as hearing from him seemed to partially fill the gap that she felt inside, she was upset at the amount he referred to missing her. She didn't want him to focus on her. She wanted him to enjoy himself.

She clicked reply, carefully thinking out her answer.

_From_: **Harper, Becca **(music_.uk)

_Sent_: 25th March 2007

_To_: **Poynter, Dougie **(dlp_.uk)

_Subject_: Hello there mister

Hey poo-face. =]

Dougie...your spelling is awful! Lol

I miss you too Dougie, but you have to get over it and enjoy the experience. I hope the German girls aren't too surprisingly pretty. I get the feeling you expected them all to be like they are in 1950s musicals. Not that you've watched any I'm sure. Lol.

I have managed to write some lyrics actually! Maybe you should stay away for longer so I can get some more done. =]

Nothing much else is going on. Just getting on with life I suppose. You should too Dougie. Stop thinking about me so much. Just enjoy it...remember you promised me you would.

If I get a message back within...5 days...I'm going to be angry!

Love you

Xxxxxxxx ...and quit thrusting me bitch! =p I'm trying to write!

She sat back in her chair, and ran her hands through her blonde hair, pulling it in front of her, and letting it hang over her face, before blowing it to the side. The room around her was a mess. Clothes were strewn haphazardly across the floor, along with her hairdryer, straightners, and a few old magazines. She got up and began sorting through the heap. Before she had even gathered all of the clothes up, she heard a message alert from her laptop. She straightened up from her position crouched over a pile of t-shirts, and looked across at the computer.

"_That better not be him._" She thought to herself. "_Please don't be him._"

She walked over to her desk, with one arm clutching a few hoodies, and frowned when she saw that Dougie had replied within 5 minutes.

_From_: **Poynter, Dougie **(dlp_.uk)

_Sent_: 25th March 2007

_To_: **Harper, Becca **(music_.uk)

_Subject_: =[

...well I broke your rule. 5 days is to long. 1 day is to long. In fact the 5 minutes it took me to reply is to long.

I cant help thinking about you. I miss you to much. I wish you were here so bad. Come out here with me? Now? I cant go any longer. ='[ all the rest of the guys are at the bar. But I didn't want to go. So im staying here thinking about you and waching wierd german tv.

I love you =[

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tears welled up in Becca's eyes. Despite the fact that it broke her heart to think about him missing her, and even though she so desperately wanted to tell him how much she missed him too, she knew that it was more important for Dougie to be focussed on the tour, not only for his own sake, but for the rest of the band as well. It hurt her so much, but she closed the lid of her laptop, and tried to put it out of her mind. She decided to wait a few days before she replied, in the hope that Dougie would start to enjoy himself.

Two days had passed, during which time Becca had almost completely avoided using her laptop for the fear of what would be waiting for her when she did. As the sun set on another day, however, she sat down with a sigh at her desk, and opened her e-mails.

Waiting for her were 6 e-mails. Two of them were from her university informing her that she had a fine on some library books, and the other four were all from Dougie.

She clicked the first one.

_From_: **Poynter, Dougie **(dlp_.uk)

_Sent_: 25th March 2007

_To_: **Harper, Becca **(music_.uk)

_Subject_: =[ x2

Becca...i'm borrrred. And you havnt replied yet ='[

Did I annoy you by breaking the 5 day rule? Or are you busy righting about missing me?

German tv is really shit. Its all in german. You speak german don't you? Come here and translate for me please?

Ithink I'm going to get drunk from the mini-bar.

I miss you. Reply soon please *begs*

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_From_: **Poynter, Dougie **(dlp_.uk)

_Sent_: 26th March 2007

_To_: **Harper, Becca **(music_.uk)

_Subject_: I cant sleep

Its 3 in the morning here. What time is it there? Are you awake?

You havnt replied yet ='[

The boys are trying to make me go out, but I think im gonna stay here in case you mail me back soon. *hopes* and also im having fun guessing what the german people are saying.

Ithink I drunk too much from the minibar. I don't know how much it costs though cos its all in euros. How much is a euro for fucks sake!?

Please please reply.

I really miss you so much. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_From_: **Poynter, Dougie **(dlp_.uk)

_Sent_: 26th March 2007

_To_: **Harper, Becca **(music_.uk)

_Subject_: ?

Beccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

:'[ :'[ :'[

Are you okay? Whats going on? Im confused. Please reply soon. I miss you to much.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

_From_: **Poynter, Dougie **(dlp_.uk)

_Sent_: 27th March 2007

_To_: **Harper, Becca **(music_.uk)

_Subject_: ...i hope you're okay. :s

Becca. I really hope your okay. Youv no idea how many different posibilites are going through my head about what couldv happened to you. Im just sitting here worrying. =[

I hope I havnt done anything to annoy you...or that youv forgotten me or something.

Just thought id let you no that the two gigs we did in berlin didn't go too good. I messed up alot cos I couldn't concentrate properly.

Were in munich now, but the germen people call it munchen, or something like that. The weather is really crap. =[

I don't really no what else to right.

I hope you reply soon.

I love you

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Tears rolled unchecked down Becca's face. What she had feared the most was happening right in front of her eyes. Not only was Dougie not embracing the chance of seeing Europe, and getting new fans, he was also making mistakes in the performances because he was too busy thinking about her. She opened a reply e-mail and began to type. The words she wrote stung her fingertips as she typed them.

_From_: **Harper, Becca **(music_.uk)

_Sent_: 27th March 2007

_To_: **Poynter, Dougie **(dlp_.uk)

_Subject_: please stop.

Dougie. You are making this far harder on yourself than it needs to be. You really have to stop e-mailing me all the time. As for staying in and waiting for my replies, please don't do that! You promised me that you would go out and you would enjoy it Dougie, and from the sounds of it, all you've done is spent ridiculous amounts on overpriced beer from the mini-bar, and watched tv programmes that you don't understand.

Not only that but it's affecting the music! You can't let that happen Dougie. I won't let it happen. I think it's best if you just put me in the back of your mind for a while. Forget about me for a bit. Let your hair down and enjoy yourself! Please! It's not fair on the other guys if you're messing up performances.

If I can put you to the back of my mind and concentrate on my uni work, and writing, then I'm sure you can as well. It's not that difficult.

Please stop mailing me so much. It's only going to make you feel worse.

xxx

As she clicked send, a fresh wave of tears fell from her eyes, splashing onto the table below. It hurt so much to know how Dougie felt, and it hurt so much to lie to him, "_but surely," _she thought to herself, "_..surely it's better for him._"

Becca continued to tell it to herself for the next few weeks. She only checked her e-mails once a week now. After she had sent her reply she had been bombarded with e-mails from Dougie telling her that he didn't want to put her at the back of his mind, and asking her to reply to him, but as the frequency of her replies diminished, so did his messages. After four weeks of only rare replies, Dougie wrote only once or twice a week. The content of his e-mails remained the same, although Becca saw the decreased numbers as a positive. It was a bitter-sweet pill to swallow, but Becca began to think that Dougie had managed to push her to the back of his mind. She only hoped that he hadn't pushed her out altogether.


End file.
